Day 5 - Hold me, I'm scared.

I used to have serious image issues. Thankfully, I've been delivered from them, but ... well, they were really bad. Obsessive, even. I did everything from counting calories to carbs to miles and never lost anything significant because the food and exercise stalking stressed me out so much I'd run off and binge.

Now, the idea of dieting, of paying attention to food ... it just makes me nervous. What makes me even more nervous, though, is losing control of my health. I am more nervous about becoming overweight, of becoming ... "high-risk" with regard to all those nasty disorders that come with overweight-ness. I fear for my unborn (well, unconceived) child. I fear for my husband.

I always get writer's block once I hit sensitive topics like this, so I'm just going to go straight to the celebration and close with this, to perhaps elaborate later on.

Celebration: I found out that I can join the university rec center free since my husband is a student! It's SWEET, too! So nice in there. And ellipticals galorrree. You know how much I love my ellipticals. So, I've joined. And I have a workout buddy (Andrea) who will accompany me when she can.

Day 1: Mel Gets Well

First things first - no one really calls me Mel. You can if you want, but ... I mean, if you don't want to, you can just follow through with the 'lissa part. Melissa. Both work.

Secondly, "Day 1" is no indication that this is the first day of a diet, or the first day of a major exercise routine. This is just the first day I've posted in this blog. It's the first day I've really started documenting my feelings on my own personal health and wellness. You know, excluding the thousand or so LiveJournal posts I've made since high school about feeling fat, or whatever.

Here's my "health profile" as I've described it in my personal blog over at Howdy Hoosier:

Well, at age 24, my blood pressure is normal, if not low. My cholesterol, last I checked, was a smidge high. Five or ten pounds will make me officially overweight according to the BMI scale. At night? Well, not all nights, but some nights I can’t sit still for the carb, sugar, and fat cravings. (Seriously, give me some Olive Garden breadsticks and big bowl of ice cream and I’m a happy girl.) While I love my fruits and veggies, my diet has been pretty scarce of them – mainly because the rat pois … er, Coumadin … is really sensitive to it and too much broccoli means my INR levels turn stupid. A flight of stairs leaves me out of breath, and I’m not flexible enough to really touch my toes all that well. Energy levels are normal but … they could always be better.

Not to mention the Diet Coke addiction. I’d have 5-6 cans a day or more, if I was completely retarded. (Right now I’m at 2-3 cans in the morning, followed by a 32 or 44 ounce fountain drink around lunch, stopping all caffiene consumption before leaving work and drinking water once I’m home.)

Reading those paragraphs above? Realizing that … I’m 24 years old … ? It puts a lot into perspective …

It does.

So, I'm here now. I want to document this, and talk about it. I want to get real about it. I want to make people laugh, and I want to make them think. I want to feel awesome.

If you're just joining us, I'm Melissa. I'm a newlywed youngin' living in Indiana with the most good-looking husband on the face of the earth. I'm a professional youth advocate with a burgeoning photography business and a totally legit Diet Coke addiction. I also have a love for God and a faith in Jesus that is at the core of every single thing I do - including this.

That being said, I'll be back on a whim - in the meantime? French fries are potatos, and corn oil is from corn ... and, seriously ... those sound really good right now ...